Written by Habeeba Shaik
Edited by Nicolas Francis
League of Storytellers
Former NFL quarterback, author, and activist Don McPherson was slotted to present his keynote speech at SUNY Geneseo’s 8th Annual Diversity Summit, where he spoke to a packed audience of students, faculty, and community members. His presentation, Finding Courage Through Aspirational Masculinity, followed the theme of courage closely, and how we as a society can learn to rethink how society defines manhood.
Organizer Sarah Frank started off emphasizing the collective effort of SUNY faculty and staff in bringing the event together. Opening remarks were delivered by Rodney King, who spoke about the importance of recognizing Indigenous communities and their longstanding historical connection to the Geneseo community in a land acknowledgement.
However, before taking his stage, McPherson participated in a 30-minute interview with the League of Storytellers. In this conversation, he reflected on his childhood and early experiences with the sport that shaped his perspective on masculinity. Such a perspective has led to his work in reaching young men today.
“When I was eight years old, I chickened out… I ran off the field crying because I was embarrassed,” McPherson said. “When I was nine, I did the same thing. But when I was ten, I was ready to play.”
McPherson explained that much of his youth was spent trying to understand where he fit within his family. Raised by a father who worked as a police officer and a mother who was a nurse, he describes growing up in a family that appeared successful and well respected within their community, yet often avoided discussing personal struggles openly.
A former standout quarterback at Syracuse University, McPherson earned national recognition during his collegiate football career before retiring from professional athletics in 1994. Following his athletic career, he dedicated his work towards advocating against gender based violence and challenging harmful cultural expectations surrounding masculinity. He was 29 years old when he began writing his book, Finding Courage Through Aspirational Masculinity. During this period, some of the most severe cases of men’s violence against women were occurring in Ontario. With it being the mid 90’s, conversations openly addressing men’s violence against women were still uncommon. After many years of challenges, he finally published his book You Throw Like a Girl: The Blind Spots of Masculinity in 2019.
During his speech, McPherson began by thanking attendees from multiple generations for their presence. He then focused on the concept of courage and how it resonates with The Wizard of Oz. He referenced the 1900 novel by L. Frank Baum as an example of how people often already possess courage, intelligence, and compassion, but sometimes need someone to recognize those qualities within them. In his interview, McPherson went more in-depth about how the story supports his main argument that, at its core, The Wizard of Oz is a feminist narrative:
“The women have all the power. The women are the smart ones, right? It’s the men who are just governing with fire and distraction.”
Throughout the talk, McPherson addressed society’s silence that often surrounds issues of masculinity and violence. According to McPherson, one of the greatest privileges is the ability to remain silent in the face of injustice. He encouraged young boys and men to examine privilege and ask difficult questions about what social advantages may prevent individuals from understanding others’ experiences.
McPherson discussed that the worst thing you could have said to him in his youth was “you — like a girl”. From his generation to now, boys are frequently raised to avoid anything dipping into femininity rather than encouraged to develop emotional openness and grow as young men.
McPherson recalled when adults in his life were merely checking boxes with no true care for the social issues that they were speaking of, and that meaningful social change requires education and intentional effort from educators. To demonstrate this, he drew parallels between sports and academics:
“You teach in the classroom to not fail,” he explained. “In sports, we don’t coach not to lose; we coach to be excellent.”
McPherson said that society may have an easier time accepting someone like the female astronaut Jeanette Epps being a leader in her field if people were comfortable with a young man saying he wished to be a nurse. He suggested that true progress requires expanding expectations for everyone, regardless of gender.
The former NFL athlete concluded his speech with his sincerest wishes for the future generations of young boys and men. He hopes for them to create healthy, kind, and loving relationships with not just partners, but with friends, families, and themselves.
“And so to me, manhood and masculinity are living your authentic self, being who you are in your wholeness.” McPherson had said in his interview. “And very often, sometimes you just need somebody to say, ‘you know what, it’s okay to be loving and sensitive and caring and empathetic and being your whole self.’ I love that.”
For those interested in viewing the full interview, please head on over to the League of Storytellers’ website and check out our other works at https://storytellers.geneseo.sunycreate.cloud/.
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